


Too Perfect

by Skyepilot



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Flirting, Foreplay, Humor, Kissing, Office, Parody, Undercover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-28 22:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3872035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepilot/pseuds/Skyepilot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skye and Coulson go undercover in an office to steal data.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Perfect

"Tell me a little more about your past experience?"

She angled the screen towards her more clearly, looking again at the details of his resume.

He was quite a bit older than the people she was used to interviewing for mid-level in a tech startup.

"Because, you've got exactly the background we're looking for."

The man looked flattered for a moment, then cleared his throat before continuing.

"I was doing risk analysis for Cybertek before that whole HYDRA thing made it go poof" he replied, mimicking the sound with his hands, looking like he regretted it instantly. "Doesn't exactly look great on your resume."

"Our policy is to exclude anyone from their Incentives Program," she said, smiling, tapping her pen against the desk. "But otherwise...You were only there for a few months?"

"SHIELD before that," he said, shrugging, twisting his fingers together in front of him.

"It would seem that your risk analysis experience...," she began.

"Wasn't really important to my managers," he replied. "They were looking at the wrong angles, but I'd like to think I can see the big picture.  I included copies of my reports."

She looked over his face, smiling back at her. He looked very...safe.

"Nice tie," she said.

"Thanks," he replied, touching it.

She circled around the desk, and extended her hand, as he stood to shake it.

"Welcome to ReDux," she said. "But, loose the tie, Burt. No one wears those anymore."

  
#

  
As he unpacked his box onto the desk he glanced around at the rows of surrounding cubicles. Looked like any other tech startup.

"Hey, new guy."

He watched as a skinny pale 20 something rode by on a mini bike down the floors of the polished concrete hallway.

Ah. Priorities, he thought, and took his mini basketball backboard out of the box and anchored it onto lip of the trashcan. He positioned it a safe distance from his desk.

Close, but not _too_ close.

"Ready for the grand tour?"

"Uh," he pushed the glasses back up his nose and looked up at the Human Resources Director standing over him. "Sure."

"Don't seem like much of a talker, Burt."

He already hated the way she said his name.

"Good to see you took my advise about the tie," she said, looking him over. "Not sure the polo is your thing, either, but, you'll figure it out."

Touching the ReDux logo on his shirt pocket, he opened his mouth to say something then turned as they were interrupted.

"Ms. Johnson," the voice interrupted. "When you're ready, come see me in my office."

The woman was roughly his age, maybe younger, hard to tell. Very polished with a stern demeanor.

"New guy?" she asked, then shifted her weight before putting her hand out at him. "Becca Stern. I'm the Division Manager. We should get to know each other when I have more free time. You'll be busy enough with orientation week, though," she said, glancing towards the other woman.

"Nice to meet you," he said, going to take her hand as she lowered it.

"I don't really like to shake," she said. "You understand, right?"

"Sure," he said, nodding.

He watched her walk off towards the corner office and shut the door behind her.

"She always that friendly?" he asked.

"Let's go," she said, as he followed after her, down the hallway.

"This is where we live and work together," she said, gesturing around them at the light-filled offices. "The hours can get pretty long, but as long as you meet all of your metrics..."

"Fuseball," he said, stopping to look at a game room in one of the common area alcoves. "Cool. I used to play that in college."

"Where did you go to school again?" she asked, turning towards him with a smile.

"I didn't," he answered back, with a growing smirk.

"That's not what it said on your resume," she said, staring back at him.

"I know," he said, hiding his smile again as they walked on.

  
#

  
"But it's your favorite!"

"I don't need you to remind me, thanks very much."

"This is the break room," she said, stopping as the couple standing near the fridge whose voices had carried into the hall paused to stare back at them.

"Hi, guys," Ms. Johnson said, looking them over, as Burt put his hands in the pockets of his khakis.

"Oh, hello again, new guy," the younger man said, looking at him then back down into the open fridge.

"Let's not waste energy now," the other woman said in a soft, clipped voice, closing the door as he pulled back.

"I'd like you to meet Burt Mitchell," Ms. Johnson said, introducing them.

"Rose," the woman said, holding out her hand and shaking his. "This is..."

"Jack," the guy said, fidgeting. "I can introduce myself, Rose."

"Then you should speak up," Rose said.

"I was just about to, when..."

"Oh," Burt interrupted, looking between the two of them. "Like the Titanic."

"Never heard that one before," Jack muttered.

"Hardly," Rose said, pushing her hair behind her ear. "We're in the Innovations Department."

"You're in...," Jack said, looking him over. "Risk Management, right?"

"I am," Burt answered back, with a nod.

"Ms. Johnson here showing you around?" he asked, barely making eye contact with her.

"Yup."

There was an awkward pause as Rose rolled her eyes. "Jack and I have _so_ much work to do," she said, grabbing his elbow. "Nice to meet you, Burt."

As they shuffled past them, Rose whispered loudly to the other woman, "Daisy, we should get a drink later."

"I like drinks," Jack spoke up suddenly.

"Girls only, I'm afraid," Daisy replied.

"Right," he said sullenly.

"I'm sure you and Burt...," Daisy offered.

"Actually," Jack said, "I've got plans already. Having a beer with Trent. From security. We're going to talk about my latest security updates, and other guy stuff."

Daisy raised her eyebrows. "Great."

Rose smiled and dragged Jack around the corner with her.

"They seem niceish," Burt said.

"They've been best friends since college," Daisy answered.

"Guess I can't call you Daisy," he asked.

"It's not against company policy," she said. "But, I'd rather you not."

  
#

  
"This is the first line of defense," Trent said, greeting them at the door, motioning towards all the security monitors behind him.

After making formal introductions. He stood up really tall for some reason, while looking down at Burt.

"You're in Risk Management?"

"First day," Burt smiled pleasantly, hoping to take the edge off.

"Ms. Johnson said you've worked for both Cybertek and SHIELD. It's standard procedure that I review your file," he smirked. "Hope you don't mind. I think you'll find that we run a much tighter ship here."

"That's the dream," Daisy said.

Trent's face fell slightly. "Let's try to be mature about this." He turned to Burt. "I usually recommend against hiring people who have worked for SHIELD or HYDRA," he said, crossing his arms. "Ms. Johnson here made me change my mind."

"Did she?" Burt asked, curiously, looking over at her.

"I sat down with him and reviewed your analyses, showed him how you had actually predicted some of the internal problems going on, but that your managers didn't pay attention. I think he was impressed."

Trent watched Daisy and Burt smile at each other.

"It made me want to give someone like you another look, anyway," Trent agreed. "We should talk. I'd like us to be on the same page. It could help me predict potential threats. Really get out in front of things."

"Whatever I can do to help," Burt said, the smile not quite reaching his eyes.

"Great," Trent said, clapping him on the shoulder, making him stagger a bit. "We should all go get a drink after work."

"Sure," Burt replied.

"I thought you were having a beer with Jack?" Daisy said.

Trent glanced over at her. "Did he say that?"

"Seemed pretty excited about the idea," she smiled.

"Then you're both invited," Trent said, grimacing.

"Okay," she answered. "Sounds fun."

  
#

  
"Where are you going?"

Burt turned around, the flash drive in his hand. He thought he was the last one out.

"Just meeting up with the team for Happy Hour."

"It's a little late for Happy Hour," Becca said, glancing up at the wall clock.

He stared back at her, looking at her crossed arms and imposing demeanor.

"For drinks then. Why let a little thing like Happy Hour stop you?"

"No, they don't stop," she said, with a sigh. "Do you know what it's like to have to work with people half your age and keep them constantly engaged?"

"It's my first day."

"I find them exhausting," she continued. "They do deliver, though. And that's why I'm in charge. To make sure all of my little ducks are in a row."

"So...you like working here?" he asked, confused, raising his eyebrows.

"It doesn't matter if I like it," she said. "It matters that I'm the best person for this job."

"Fair enough," he said, moving out of his cubicle, scooting past her filling up his space.

"What's the flash drive for?" she asked, looking down at his hand.

"Getting caught up. It's all the HR paperwork I have to fill out. Medical, dental, Sexual Harassment Policies," he shrugged. "You know the drill."

"Yeah, the paperwork. Best part," she said wryly.

"Not really." He paused. "Do you want to join us?" he said, turning over his shoulder.

"Last thing I would _ever_ want to do, but, I could use a good glass of scotch."

"I like scotch," he said.

"Sounds like a plan."

She smiled at him and then followed him to the elevator.

  
#

  
"Rose," Daisy said. "Don't just smile at him, say something."

"I can't," Rose said, putting her head against the table. "I'm just trying to make Jack jealous."

"Really?!" she replied, wrinkling her nose, looking over at the hunky bartender with the really cute smile.

"Yes," she confessed. "I tried that with Trent and now he's going out for drinks with him."

"I don't know, maybe you shouldn't have to work so hard? Maybe he's not right for you?"

Rose huffed and even after two Cosmopolitans, was indignant enough to still know herself. "How dare you suggest such a thing?"

"Uh...sorry?"

"We're _meant_ to be together."

"You're sure..."

"Yes," she said tearfully, putting her head back down against the table.

"Hey, it's that Burt guy," Daisy said, as he entered the bar, with Becca behind him.

"Burt?" Rose said, sitting up, looking them over. "He brought Ms. Stern with him. Oh, _of course_."

"So?" Daisy replied.

"Match made in Heaven," Rose said. "I'm sure he's the man of _her_ dreams."

"I don't know," Daisy said. "I think he's kind of nice looking."

Rose looked appalled. "He's.. _.old_."

"He's nice and he's new and Becca doesn't get dibs just because of his age," she said, standing up.

"There's a perfectly nice Trent available," Rose said, tossing her hand towards him talking to Jack.

"Trent, yeah, what a winner," Daisy said, rolling her eyes.

  
#

  
"You know Rose likes you," Trent said to Jack, swirling the whiskey in his glass.

"Yeah," Jack answered. "But, I like Daisy."

Trent laughed at him and then shook him by the shoulders. "Who doesn't like Daisy?"

"Can you stop doing that, please?"

"That's why Rose is looking at the bartender, instead of you," Trent said. "You need to be more of a man."

"Easy for you to say, with all of your muscles and your confidence."

"True," Trent said. "Fake it till you make it, right? She's supposed to like you for who you really are, or, it doesn't matter."

"I'm just a nerd and because I'm smart everyone wants me to work for them, but girls don't care about any of that."

"The ladies like muscles, sure, but Rose makes you cupcakes. That's pretty special."

"I'd like it if Daisy made me a cupcake," he said, watching Daisy walk towards the bar.

"Great," Trent said, huffing, looking towards the door.

"What?" Jack said, turning around to look behind him. "Oh, here we go," he said, noticing Ms. Stern following behind the new guy.

"She _never_ comes to Happy Hours," Trent said, looking conflicted.

"Maybe it's the new guy?"

"Yeah," Trent said. "You're right. They're both the same age." He chuckled. "Maybe Ms. Stern will finally get laid?"

Jack looked over at Rose sitting by herself with her head against the table.

"Think I'd better check on her," he said.

"You do that," Trent said, looking over at Daisy.

  
#

  
"What kind of scotch?" Burt asked, belly up to the bar, turning towards Becca.

"Whatever you're having," she smiled, scanning the room. "I like Springbank, though."

"Count me in," Daisy said, appearing next to them.

"No Trent in sight," Becca said. "What did you do to shake him this time?"

"Couldn't say," Daisy said, shrugging. "Guess I'm just not his type."

"What's his type?" Burt asked, turning towards her.

"Pretty, helpless," Becca said. "He liked you from the moment he met you."

Daisy ignored her. "You're the risk analyist, you tell me."

"He's looking for someone who understands the pain of his white privilege and wealthy upbringing?"

Daisy started to laugh as Becca rolled her eyes when Burt smiled.

"How _do_ you get your hair so perfect, Daisy?"

She put her fingers through the ends of her hair. "With...effort?"

"Oh look, our drinks," Burt said, turning around between them and handing the scotch glasses out.

"To first dates," Becca said, smiling at Burt.

"This isn't a date," Burt said, grimacing.

"I mean first day, but, whatever," she said, shooting back the glass and putting it on the counter. "I've got some important phone calls to make."

They watched her walk towards the bar patio.

Daisy smiled over at him. "Please tell me you've got that flash drive."

He slowly sipped his scotch. "And if I don't?"

"You've had just a taste of what I've had to endure for a month," she said, sipping her scotch a little too fast and coughing.

"I'll make it up to you."

  
#

  
"Look at the two of them, just laughing it up together," Jack said, drinking from his beer. "I bet he's not even that funny."

"He's old enough to be her father."

"Risk Management. Worse."

"Gang's all here," Becca said, sitting down with a beer and tossing her phone on the table.

"What are you guys doing watching those two? It'll never go anywhere, she's just stringing him along."

"Oh, poor Trent," Rose said.

"Poor Trent?" Becca said. "How about poor Burt?"

"Speaking of Trent," Trent said, walking up and sitting down with another glass of whiskey.

"Yeah?" Jack asked, watching him sit down.

"Well, you were talking about me, right?" Trent repeated. He tutted. "Look at the two of them."

He took a long drink and then shok his head, looking over at Daisy and Burt.

"Disgusting. He's old enough to be her father."

"I know, right?" Becca said.

"Maybe he is her dad?"

They all turned and stared at Jack.

"She just doesn't know any better," Trent said. "Get in there, Becca." He elbowed her. "You should be able to impress a guy like that."

"In Risk Management, no less," added Jack.

"You'd think so," Becca said. "But, he hardly even notices me. I made eye contact with him at the coffee machine this morning and everything."

"I bet he doesn't know how flexible you are," Trent added. "Just saying."

"He's only been here one day," Rose said encouragingly. "Give it some time."

"You mean half a lifetime, like the two of you?" she said, standing up. "Work it out," she said, looking between Jack and Rose and as they both blushed, she swiped her phone off the table. "I have an important call to make."

Trent looked over at Rose, arching his back so that his tight t-shirt looked even tighter. "What are you drinking there, Rose?"

"Cosmopolitan," she said, her eyelashes fluttering.

"Daisy goes in for the hard stuff," he sighed, lifting his glass. "Like one of the guys."

Rose shook her head staring over at Daisy. "She's just too perfect, don't you think?" she asked, leaning across the table at Trent. "You're head of security. You've got to have something on her."

"I've looked, trust me," he said. "Even followed her home one night just to see if she had a creepy boyfriend or any pets."

"You followed her home?" Jack asked. "D-did she have any pets.."

"It's my job," Trent interrupted, leaning over towards Jack as he crawled back into his chair.

"Hey, Trent."

He turned to see Burt looking down at him, Daisy's arm through his.

"Been fun, guys," Daisy said. "But, I'm leaving with Burt."

"Thanks for the announcement," Becca said, walking back over to them. "You're the head of HR, and you're going home with the new guy on his first day? That's against company policy."

"Uh huh," Daisy said, nodding quickly.

"We'll talk about this later," Becca said in a low voice.

" _Absolutely_."

  
#

  
"Was that some kind of science experiment gone wrong? I mean, it was just like...a parallel universe or something."

He leaned back against the pillow the fingers on his knuckles touching his forehead as he stared at the ceiling.

"Don't think about it too much," she said. "It'll just give you a headache."

"Must be speaking from experience," he said. "They seemed so familiar, I can't help but..."

She pulled her blouse over her head and tossed it to the floor.

"We got the data, you were _very_ good with the extraction," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed, she undid the clasp on her bra. "They had no idea."

He ran his hand down the smooth expanse of skin on her back.

"You forgot to take these off," she said, crawling across to him and reaching over to slip the glasses off his face and put them on the bedside table.

"I thought you liked Burt," he said, putting his hands lightly on her thighs hoping to keep her there when she started to move away.

She settled her weight on top of him and leaned forward to kiss his lower lip. "Burt is a little too conservative for my tastes," she added, kissing the tip of his nose as well.

"Mine, too," he said, kissing her back, running his hand through her hair.

"Another successful mission," he added. "I think we deserve a reward."

"Like the weekend off?" she asked. He shrugged, thinking it over. "How about a month off?"

"Wish I could," he said, brushing his fingers along her neck. "We need to find out what ReDux is a front for."

"That Trent guy, alone, was at least worth two weeks of something," she said, pushing his shirt up over his stomach, and running her finger over the ridge of his hipbone.

"What kind of something?" he asked sweetly, dotting kisses along her neck.

"I'm sure it will come to you," she said, giggling as she felt him smile against her skin.

"What kind of something, _Skye_?" he asked, teasing, pushing the skirt up over her hips and rolling her onto her back so that his weight was on her.

She pulled at the bottom of his polo again until he tugged it up and tossed it away.

He went to dip his head to kiss her again, but she stopped him, running her hands over his arms, and then over the scar on his chest.

"This is all I need," she sighed. "Just this."

"You're so benevolent," he said. "Too perfect, really."

"I hate your khakis," she said.

"I hate the way you say 'Burt'," he shot back, tipping his head in mock repeat.

"Why do you think I gave you that name?" she asked.

"I missed you too, Skye," he said, pressing his lips to hers.

"Mmmm," she hummed, kissing him back.

"I missed you, Phil."


End file.
